I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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