i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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