After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
