For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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