Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
