how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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