yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
