gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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