If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
