do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
