awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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