Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
