how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
