.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
