Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
