sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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