In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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