i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
