Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
