...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
