Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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