im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
