Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
