she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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