how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
