I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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