Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
