so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
