Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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