I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
