if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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