No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize