I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
