You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize