How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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