Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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