"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
