I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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