Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
COCAINE IS GR8
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