I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
