If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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