Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We got so high we made milksteak
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
