Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
