I'm lost and stupid without you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
