doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
