You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
