I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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