i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
