Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
