I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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