Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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