I didn't shave. On purpose
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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