the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This house was built for laser tag.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
