I wanna passion pit in your ass
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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