just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
