I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
