How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hate all girls vehemently.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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