BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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