Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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