Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
